Suicide For Hire
by Fruityferret
Summary: Ever wanted to kill yourself, but to afraid to do go through with it? Call Suicide For Hire! Beck and Andre have found the perfect way to make money, but when their new friends start pushing the boundaries, they wonder just how much they'll get away with?
1. Poison for Your Dignity

**So I totally know I should not be writing this story, but Jesus, the idea has been in my head for two days now and it won't leave me the hell alone. Like, I tried everything, but it's still there.**

**The only thing though is that I've been pretty sick for the last few days and I've had nothing to do so this idea was like, just waiting to get me.**

**Anyway, just a little bases for the story, I kind of got the idea from a furry comic, about some friends who do suicide jobs. It was really good and I haven't read it in a while though I don't know much about it beside the main idea. Hiring for suicide. But my first chapter stems off of their beginning.**

**And I guess it's sort of AU, since the characters are the only thing I'm using for this story and whatever.**

**So yeah, Disclaimer: Don't own shit. **

**Warning: Cursing and killing ensue. You've been warned, so don't shoot me down in the review section. But if you have, make sure to leave a review about it... Just saying. :P**

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><p><strong>~~/~**

**Chapter 1: Poison for Your Dignity?**

**~/~/~**

Andre sat in front of the television, watching as the reporter ranted on about some drastic change in the weather over in Texas. He guessed it didn't really matter, and it really wasn't as big of an issue as she seemed to be making it. The only reason he watched is because she was actually pretty hot.

"Popcorn's ready," Beck said, plopping down on the couch next to his friend, popcorn bowl in one hand and a beer in the other. "Are we seriously watching this?"

Andre shrugged, taking a drag of his cigarette. "What can I say? The chick is hot."

Beck sighed and popped the cap off his beer. "Seriously dude, where did we go wrong? I mean, it's a Friday night and here we are, sitting in my apartment, watching pointless reruns of the news."

"Listen, I'm totally cool with it," Andre said, picking up the remote. "College's been a real run-down lately."

"Yeah, but there has to be something we can do," Beck went on. "Like crash a party, hook-up with some women, or something."

"What'd be the point, man?" Andre asked, putting out his cigarette. "I mean, I don't drink, and people get on your nerves. And besides, I thought you were dating that Mindy chick."

He took a swig of his beer and shrugged. "I don't know. She's been volunteering a lot at that children's school again."

Andre's eyes went from the TV to his friend. "Okay, you sound like you either have something on your mind or you're in desperate need of sex."

"Probably, but," he paused for a second, thinking of what to say. "I have been thinking. Is this all we can do with ourselves? Are dateless Friday nights in front of the tube the best we'll ever do in our all-to-short respective youths?"

"Well, what do you want to do with our youth?"

"I think we should tread an unworn path. Something… something few people before us even dared to. Something exciting that'll make generations after us say, 'Now them motherfuckers did some shit.'"

Andre nodded, thinking about it for a second, wondering if beck was serious. "We could become daredevil's, or start a metal band. Did you have anything in mind?"

"We could kill people," he suggested.

Andre stared at his best friend in shock for a second, and then he started to laugh. "You had me going there for a second."

Beck's eyes were dark and didn't waver. Andre stopped laughing. "You cannot be serious."

"Well, it would definitely be exciting, and different."

"We can't just kill people! You've seriously lost your mind if you think we're going to do that!"

Beck shrugged and turned back to the TV. "It was just a suggestion."

Andre looked back at the TV, his mind wandering over the words his friend had said. _Murder people..? _No, they couldn't do that. They'd get caught and go to jail and he definitely did not want to go to jail. They'd just have to think of something else to do because killing people was _not _a viable option.

**S.U.I.C.I.D.E.F.O.R.H.I.R.E**

Monday Afternoon, Andre sat at his desk in his Bio Anatomy class. His mind was trying to focus on his test but he found it impossible. One, because it was the midterm, and passing was everything, but mostly because of the two really annoying girls sitting behind him, who wouldn't shut up.

"Wow," the redhead said, her green eyes wide and focused on her friend. "What did your parents say?"

The blond behind Andre let out an exasperated sigh. "I haven't told them, yet. I haven't even been home since I was picked up. I guess I'll just tell them I ran off with Shaun for the weekend. Give them another reason to hate him," she said. "But it's better than telling them the truth."

The redhead gasped. "How could you do that to your boyfriend?"

Andre tried his best to drown them out, but there insistent chattering kept him from focusing. Why couldn't they just shut up?

"Cause it beats, 'Hi, mom, hi dad. Where've I been? Just the county jail. Oh, nothing, just possession of crack."

The blond sighed. "I like him, but not to the degree of what I'm scared my parents would do if they found out. I mean, it's so unfair! It's my first offense and it wasn't even that much crack! I just don't want to hafta deal with this shit."

"And my job! They won't keep me working with kids when they see this on my record! I mean, I've planned for it my entire life! I can't go and change my college courses to fit my criminal record for a crackhead. I just want to kill myself…"

And for the next fifteen minutes, Andre sat and listened while she went on and on about her record, wanting to kill herself, and not wanting to tell her parents and her insistent whining while he tried to focus on his paper, but going into the next minute, he seriously lost his patience.

"So that's why I'm going to tell them I was with Shaun…"

"Will you shut up!" Andre yelled, turning around to face her. "Gawd-Dammit, don't you see anyone else trying to work here? And not only am I subjected to the whining of some self-pitying crackhead, oh no, I have to sit here and listen to you want to put the blame on someone else who's probably the only person who cares about you!"

"But…"

"Listen," he went on, "If you're going to dodge responsibility, have some fucking decency about it! Don't bring innocent people down with you! Just kill yourself already! Better yet, give me ten bucks and I'll even help you go through with it so you don't puss out! Then, your boyfriend can find a girlfriend who actually cares about him and the rest of us can get through this class without having to listen to you!"

A lot of the students in the class murmured in agreement and he even heard some clap. "Where's your sympathy?" She finally said.

He shrugged ant turned back to his paper. "Probably the same place where your dignity is."

**S.U.I.C.I.D.E.F.O.R.H.I.R.E**

At the end of the day, Andre met up with Beck on the outside of campus. "Dude, you will not believe what just happened to me!"

Beck blinked. "What?"

Andre explained what happened in his classroom, form the girl's insistent talking to him yelling at her. "Okay, so you snapped at her, what's the big deal?" Beck asked, heading down the sidewalk toward his place.

"It's not that. It's what happened later. After class, the chick met up with me and she handed me a fifty and told me she'd meet at her place tonight to go on with the plan. You know, help her commit suicide."

"Damn," Beck mumbled. "I say we spend the money."

'This is serious!" He snapped. "I didn't know she'd actually take my joke seriously. I wasn't going to actually go through with it! Now I don't know what to do!"

"If you want to avoid the situation, we could just spend the money on beer and movies and spend the next week at your place," Beck suggested.

"But the thing is," Andre went on. "I feel sort of… compelled to do it. I mean, I don't want to kill somebody, but she asked me and paid me for it and it's like this other force in me that's telling me to go ahead and do it."

"I think we should," Beck said causally.

"What do you mean, 'we'?"

"We, as in you and me, should help her out," he said. "Think about it. We're like the ProActive of life, getting rid of the blemishes of society. Who's going to care if we pop a couple of unwanted zits on the way?"

"Liberals…" Andre mumbled in protest. But he had to admit, his friend's outlook on life made a point, no matter how strange and absolutley stupid it was. "And stop talking in metaphors. It's weird."

"And it's not killing," Beck went on, ignoring Andre's comment. "They're paying us to plan their suicide for them, and then they kill themselves. We're mostly there to make sure they do it."

"I don't know, man! I mean, everything in my body is telling me to take the money and run, but then there's something telling me I need to see this through. That, and if she paid me, that she really wants to die."

"Like I said, if you want to do it let's. But if not, let's stop at a liquor store and one of those erotic D.V.D. store's…"

"We're not even old enough!" Andre protested.

"It's not like they check I.D.'s any more, man…"

"I said no!"

**S.U.I.C.I.D.E.F.O.R.H.I.R.E**

Later that night, Andre stood on a stone white patio in front of a very expensive looking house, Beck at his side, ringing the doorbell. The blond from earlier opened the door, and ushered them inside. She was wearing an old fashioned dress.

"You're finally here!" She glanced at Beck, who had items in his hand. "Who's he?"

"This is my friend, Beck Oliver," Andre introduced him. "This was all his idea anyway, and I didn't want him to miss out on something that would probably only happen once in a lifetime," he said, glancing at Beck.

"Is there a reason why you called and asked me to wear this silly dress?" She asked.

"It's all part of our meticulous plan," Beck answered quickly. "You want to die, and we want to make sure it's special." He pulled out a souvenir cup from the table in the living room and poured some of the wine he brought in it. "Andre, light the candles."

Andre sighed, thinking this was stupid, but complied anyway and started to light the lavender scented candles he and Beck had picked up.

"Is all this shit really neccessary?" She asked.

Beck nodded. "Think of it as leaving the earth divinely, surrounded with beauty of the outside to hide the ugly on the inside."

She narrowed her eyes. "You think my reason for dying is pretty stupid, don't you?"

He shrugged and looked around the room. "I think any reason for suicide is pretty stupid."

"Listen," Beck said, turning back toward the blond. "Since I'm included and we had to buy this stuff, we're going to need to double the costs, if you don't mind."

The blond shrugged. "Fine, hell, I'll triple it. It's not like I'm going to need it."

Andre's mouth dropped open in the middle of lighting another candle, while Beck nodded. "That's works out great!"

Andre sighed and finished lighting the candles and set them up across the room. "I think I'm done," he told Beck.

His friend nodded and looked at the blond, who seemed a little nervous. "Don't worry, now your death will be remembered and whatever." He handed her the silver cup. "Any last words?"

She shook her head, tears in her eyes, and brought the poisoned wine to her lips. A second later, she choked, then collapsed to the floor. It was obviously some fast acting stuff.

Andre gulped. "I cannot believe we just did this." He looked around, suddenly feeling really nervous and needing a cigarette. "C'mon man, let's get out of here before her parents get home."

"Oh, Fuck!" Beck shouted in dismay.

_Oh, Crap, _Andre thought. Did something go wrong? Were they busted already? He did not want to go to jail. He'd heard rumors of people becoming prison bitches, and the thought terrified him. He gulped, daring a glance at his friend. "What?"

"Dude, we forgot our pay raise!"

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><p><strong>Giggles and Hahas, so what did you think? Did you like it? Hate it? Love it? <strong>

**This is really different from what I usually write, but it was definitely fun doing it. The others will come up in the story soon, but this was just one of those, "let's see if I can pull this shit off without looking totally ridiculous" kind of chapters.**

**The rest of the story gets a little more dramatic, and I have to put humor in it cause I don't want for it to seem all dark and sad. But the rating might change, don't know yet…**

**But tell me if you want to read more, cause it does get good. If not, well, it was worth a shot! Peace!**


	2. No Morals, No Service

**Ello, young readers, old readers or whatever…**

**So anyway, I've been working really hard with school and stuff because apparently everyone in is getting sick, literally. My school population went from 200 to like 1300 in two days. **

**But anyway, updating is a priority for me in most cases, and I got really nice reviews so Yeah!**

**Disclaimer: I own Death. If you don't review, I shall unleash him from his chains! I might be a little crazy too, but none of that means I own Victorious.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 2: No Morals, No Service<strong>

"Seriously, dude," Beck started, turning to Andre as he opened the door to his apartment. "Quit it with the smokes already. That's your fifth today! You really need to calm down."

Andre shot him an angry look, putting the cigarette in his mouth anyway. "Just shut up, man. I'm totally freaking out, okay!" He glanced around nervously. "Every time I hear a loud noise I jump and every time I hear my name I think the cops are coming to get our sorry asses. So don't tell me to calm down!"

Beck just rolled his eyes at his friend blowing everything way out of proportion. "You worry too much." He and Andre both headed into the apartment.

"But Beck, we probably left a slew of evidence behind. Especially when you went trough that girl's purse! And somebody had to of seen us!"

"I wasn't leaving without that pay raise and I was still wearing my gloves! And no one saw us, thanks to you making us crawl through a half a fucking mile through those irrigation ditches!"

"We're not going to get away with this! We're going to jail, I know it!" Beck sat down, while Andre went on panicking. "I mean, it's only a matter of time! I don't want to be a prison bitch!"

"Hey, you're the one who felt compelled to see her wishes through, so calm the hell down! We're going to be fine!"

"You seem so sure, but you don't know!"

Beck picked up a newspaper, looked it over and smiled. "Man, listen to this:

"Teenager's body found. Police say that it was suicide and no suspicion of foul play. Her family and friends in mourning say they should have seen it coming do to her depression."

Andre snatched the paper away and quickly read it over. "Dang..."

"See?" Beck said reassuringly. "No one suspects a thing. We're in the clear!"

He sighed. "Maybe... But it can't be that easy."

"It totally was. No one suspects anything. And it's not like we're ever going to be asked to do it ever again!"

Andre stared at the column, reading it over and over again just to make certain he had read it correctly the first time. Maybe they would actually get away with it...

A loud knock came from the front door, and caused Andre to jump. "It's the cops!"

"It can't be," Beck mumbled. He got up and opened the front door. A short guy with dirty blob hair and glasses stood there, staring back at him calmly. "Andre! I don't think he's a cop!"

The guy looked surprised. "No, sir, I'm not a cop," he said in an English accent. "I came here to see a Beck Oliver and Andre Harris? I was told they live here?"

Andre walked up to the door and stood next to Beck, slightly calmer now, but still on edge. "What is it?"

The guy cleared his throat. "I heard you sirs help people who wish to terminate themselves."

"Uncanny..." Beck mumbled.

"Listen," he went on, in a sophisticated "I was looking for a way to kill myself in a professional and efficient manner. Upon asking around at the school, the names of you two surfaced."

"Sorry, man, but we don't know what you're talking about," Andre said cooly, trying his best to keep calm.

"Pish-Posh! I have a very reliable source that tells me you two are the ones I need to get in contact with."

Impossible! Andre thought. This had to be some kind of trick, but the dude sounded convincing. Wait, it didn't matter. They were not risking their freedom anymore.

"Yo, we don't play that, not like we ever did, mind you. It was all just a joke. And for all the headache it would cause, you couldn't pay us enough to go through that."

"Again," Beck added quietly, leaning against the door frame.

"Shut up!"

"I am prepared to offer you gentlemen five hundred dollars compensation for time, effort, and stress incurred for your services..."

"Well if you're willing to pay that much..." Beck said.

Andre interrupted them. "Shut up. I just said you can't pay us enough-"

"Five hundred dollars each," he went on persistently. "Plus expenses."

Andre and Beck both looked at each other for a second. "Andre..."

"Beck, we can't!" He whispered back.

"This is a lot of money, man. We can't turn him down!"

Andre sighed, giving in and leading him into the apartment. "Yes, you've come to the right place. We are Suicide For Hire. Just call me Shameless Whore."

Beck rolled his eyes. "Just ignore him. He's a little grumpy. Now, how do you want this to happen...?"

**S.U.I.C.I.D.E.F.O.R.H.I.R.E**

A few days later, Beck led Andre to the woods in the outskirts of town.

"Why are we here?" Andre asked, following Beck down the narrow trail.

"Because you're overly paranoid, Beck replied. "And because we need a place to do business without prying eyes."

Andre sighed. "I still can't believe you want to make money doing this. We're bound to get caught."

Beck walked slightly off the trail through some trees, not slowing his pace. "We won't get caught."

"But you heard that last guy. People know!"

He just shrugged. "That's good. Now they'll know who to come to."

Andre stopped in the dirt and narrowed his eyes. "Why do I get this feeling your somehow responsible for telling people about this?"

Beck rolled his eyes. "So what? I'm telling you, we're not doing anything wrong, so we won't get caught. These people 'want' to die," he told his friend who still seemed worried and unsure. "Now keep moving, we're wasting time."

Beck started to walk again, and reluctantly, Andre followed. A few minutes later, both boys stopped in front of a old looking cabin, two storys, and had a chimney on the back. Besides the fact it had dirty windows and the grass around the gravel was unkempt, it was in pretty good condition.

"Does anybody live here?" Andre asked.

Beck shook his head. "No. Some guy built this place a couple of years ago and died right after. The cabin was just left here," he explained.

"What he die of?"

"Heart attack," Beck told him. "I remember reading about it in the paper and I came to check this place out."

Andre followed Beck up to the front door. "So, you really want to do business here?"

Beck nodded and open the Cabin door. "Definitely. It'll keep from unwanted interruptions. Remember the other day?"

Andre shuddered when he thought about it. They'd been talking to that English dude who had popped up at his door and his insane grandmother had come to visit out of nowhere. Beck had a point of not being interrupted.

"All we have to do is get some furniture with the money we got and fix up the place," Beck said, walking on inside.

Andre looked around and saw this room was pretty big with a fireplace to the back and had a door in the back that led to a kitchen.

"There's two bedrooms and a bathroom upstairs," Beck explained. "And there's also room for storage in the cellar."

"Well, I guess this place is okay," Andre mumbled. At least it was out of the way. Less chances of being caught were good.

Beck smiled. "Great. Let's get started."

**S.U.I.C.I.D.E.F.O.R.H.I.R.E**

It'd been almost two weeks since they started working on the place, and Andre had to say it'd come around nicely. The windows were done, they had decided to make the main room like a lobby, with a desk and chairs, some new paint and Beck kept his laptop on the desk. They had also cleaned and restocked the kitchen, but there was still work to be done upstairs.

"I say we put a TV somewhere in here," Beck said from his seat at the desk, legs kicked up over the desk. "Maybe one of the upstairs rooms?"

"You mean like a lounge?" Andre asked, leaning against the opposite wall. "What about the other room?"

"We could just make it a meeting office. That might work."

At that second, the door opened and a woman walked in with short brown hair and dark blue eyes. "Um, is this the place that helps you kill yourself?"

Beck shifted in his seat. "That depends, what are you here for?"

She walked over to the desk and sat on the opposite side of Beck. Andre watched from his position near the wall.

"I'm here because…"

Beck held his hand up. "Wait. We need a fifty dollar counsel fee."

"Why?" She asked, opening up her wallet.

Beck took the money and began to explain. "Just in case of the occurrence that you decide not to kill yourself, we don't suffer blindly for wasted time. You can continue."

"I'm here because I want help killing myself and I heard you guys were the ones to come to," she said.

Beck nodded, and brought his feet down from the desk. "Alright. Let's start with some information from you. Why do you want to kill yourself?"

"Umm," she hesitated, narrowing her eyes. "Is that question really necessary?"

Beck nodded. "Of course. The reason we're here is to make sure you death is special and specific to you. Knowing more about you will help with this feat," he explained. Andre had to admit, Beck was pretty good at this.

She nodded. "Well, okay. You see, a little while ago, me and my boyfriend started to mess around and I ended up getting pregnant. My parents won't pay for an abortion and I can't afford one and I really don't want this baby. So anyway if you can help me…"

Beck's fist clenched on top of the table, cutting her off. "Sorry, we can't help you."

She looked surprised. "What?"

"I said, we can't help you," he repeated, voice low and dark. "Now get out before you wish we killed you." He stood up, signaling that there conversation was over.

"But- but you have to help me!" She exclaimed, standing up.

"Oh, contra, we don't _have _to do anything. Everything about our business is free choice of will, for both customers and us. No one has to do anything, and doing this would be a clear violation of our rules," he said.

She shot him an angry look. "What rules? This is a suicide business!"

Andre pushed himself off the wall, revealing a poster on the wall. "Our rules are right here," he said, motioning to it. "Rule number one: no refunds. And just in case you didn't see that rule, it's also rule number five."

"But rule number two is just as important," he went on. "'No person under the age of sixteen is allowed to any of our services.' That's because we think that everyone deserves to live their life, and sometimes young people who are depressed are just confused."

Beck nodded. "Everyone deserves to live. Especially your baby. Why don't you try getting your fucking life together for your kid, and not dodge the responsibility you put on your shoulders."

She let out an angry cry. "Just great! I come to get myself killed, but instead I find some bastard murderers with a fucking conscious!"

Beck crossed his arms. "Glad you're happy, bitch. Now leave."

"You can't do this!"

"Yes we can," Andre said. "Unlike you we have morals. Now I suggest you get out of here."

She huffed. "Can I at least have my fifty dollars back?"

"What part of no refunds don't you understand?" Beck said. She shot them both an angry look before storming out.

"Wow," Andre whistled. "She's a real bitch."

"I still can't believe she wanted a refund," Beck mumbled.

Andre reached for another cigarette, then froze. That girl was mad, and she's leaving! "Beck! We have to get her!" Andre ran toward the door, but Beck grabbed his arm and stopped him.

"What's wrong with you?

Andre was panicking, and the words came out completely jumbled. "Wehavetokillhershe'sgoingtotellaboutusandIdon'!"

"Calm down!" Beck said, pulling Andre back. "She's won't tell!"

"How do you know?" He asked nervously.

"She's not the type," he said. "We'll be fine."

Andre gulped. Hopefully that chick wouldn't talk, but she was pretty pissed. Hopefully they were in the clear. "You better be right."

"I am," he said. "Now, let's finish fixing this place up."

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><p><strong>Okay, pretty short, but it's good. I think most of my chapters are going to be short.<strong>

**Well anyway, next chapter I'll start including the others. Remember, reviewing makes me happy!**


	3. Newspaper Karma

**Hola! How's is everyone doing this fine week? Good, I hope so. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything someone doesn't give me. You can call it freeloading, but I call it HAPPINESS. Try it sometime.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 3: Newspaper Karma<strong>

3 months later...

Late in the day, Andre sat at the front desk, while Beck was upstairs, thinking to himself. He was troubled. He couldn't help but think that something was wrong. Not the business though. That was actually doing well. It was just, the fact they were getting away with it all.

Maybe they weren't doing anything wrong... But they were responsible for the fact some people were dead, and yet... Nothing. No investigation, no police, no questioning, especially considering the fact most of the people in town knew about them. Just another obituary in the paper, along with a statement saying no suspicion of foul play. Then, nothing.

Hell, Andre had even asked what Beck thought about it all. But his friend just shrugged and said it was better to not ask questions. He was probably right, but how could they not? They were running a suicide business and no one was asking questions! Something just wasn't right. Just why the hell did they keep getting away with it?

The door opened, and a Latina about his age with wavy brown hair down past her shoulders. She didn't say anything. Her eyes just wandered around the room.

"Beck! Someone's here!" Andre called, and then looked at the girl. "Welcome, and who are you?"

She looked at him with narrowed eyes and walked up to the desk. "Well what's your name?"

"Andre," he replied, wondering what this girl was up to.

Just then, Beck came down the stairs and over to them. "And I'm Beck."

"So, this is the place where people come to get themselves killed, right?"

Beck looked her up and down suspiciously. "Listen, if you're pregnant, just leave now."

The words were barely out of his mouth when she slapped him hard across the face.

"Ow!"

"How dare you!" She yelled.

Beck rubbed his cheek. "Dammit! That hurt!" He looked over at Andre who just shrugged.

"Well you kind of deserved it."

Beck rolled his eyes and looked back at the girl. "Listen, who the hell are you and what do you want?"

"My name's Trina," she said and sat down. "And I didn't come here to die."

"Then why are you here?" Andre asked.

"Your business." She stated simply.

"What about it?"

"Listen, I've been keeping an eye on it. Watching it's progression. The police might not notice your handiwork, but I do. And I must say, it's impressive."

"You've been watching us?" Andre asked incredulously.

She shrugged. "I think of it more like keeping tabs on your progress. And I have to say, you guys must make a nice amount of money. But, I couldn't help but think you could make more..."

Beck's eyebrows furrowed. "How so?"

She smiled. "Well, what if you expanded in business associates?"

"Why would we want to do that?" Beck asked.

"Because it will help give you a… different outlook on your techniques. People come here looking for professional and efficient help, I personally don't think you two can accomplish that on your own."

"So, in short...?"

"Me, my sister and her friends want in," she stated bluntly.

"Hell no!" Beck said.

"Why not?"

"We're not looking for business associates," he told her.

"And besides," Andre spoke up. "More people mean more chances of being caught."

"Trust me, we won't get caught," she said confidently.

"What makes you so sure?" Beck asked.

Trina smiled even wider. "It's obvious that even you guys have to wonder why you haven't been caught. I mean, have you ever considered that this is supposed to happen? There's obviously some higher being watching out for you guys." She opened her purple purse and pulled out a newspaper. She leaned over the desk and handed it to Andre. He saw it was newsprint from the college campus. "Just read that," she pointed to the editorial in the middle.

Andre looked at Beck, who just shrugged and motioned him to go ahead. He cleared his throat and started to read aloud:

"The belief in God is beyond dumb. I mean, why do people keep believing in him when we know better? We killed God in the 19nth century, and if you believe in him, you're dumb too. Thomas Wesley."

Andre looked up at Trina. "Besides asking for a smiting, this guy makes a valid point. So?"

"Now turn to the obituaries," she said.

Andre sighed and did so, only to gale in complete shock as he started to read:

"Tragedy befalls bright university student in a fatal accident that left many in tears and more in stitches. Philosophy major... _Thomas Wesley_ died Sunday in an accident that had witnesses agape in shock and in rolling laughter."

"While crossing the street in front of St. Satriani Catholic Church, the victim was struck by a bus filled with nuns from the Sister Diocese, 'our Lady of Padovona' who were on their way to the local IHOP. The victim however, survived the collision. The victim flew through the air towards the church where he crashed through the church's glass patio made of three inch Plexiglas."

"The victim survived thus ordeal as well. The student then ricocheted up through the foot-thick brick roof, where he collided with the church bell. The victim survived only to deflect off the bell and be impaled by the church's elegant spires jutting from the roof. Ironically, the coroner's office determined that the cause of death to be blood loss, caused by the student having his eyes pecked out by the usually docile common white dove."

"The Arkin Mountain Film Festival, which was held across the street from the parish, had cameras rolling when the accident occurred, capturing the entire event on film. The victim's family has sold the movie rights to Narimax."

Andre set the paper down, still in shock. "That's... Wow."

"Don't you see," Trina spoke up. "Normally, people like you guys would be in jail or straightjackets. But you're not, and when I read it, it seemed proof enough to me that there has to be a divine force covering for you guys."

"Maybe," Beck said. "But I don't see how that means you should work for us."

"Because, I know we will help business. I know we can help bring in more money, which I know is the whole point of this. We can even take turns doing a job, which will help you guys considerably."

"Well, that would help..."

"See? Money is what we should be aiming for. We all have bills and college loans to pay and," she hesitated. "Look, my sister sort of got herself in something she shouldn't have and this would really help her loan situation. It couldn't hurt, right?"

Andre and Beck glanced at each other, wondering if this really could work out. She made good points, and the more money the better. So was the risk worth it?

Beck was the first to speak up. "Listen, if you're really willing to do this, and go by 'our' rules, then we'll give you a chance and see how this works out."

She stood up, seeming satisfied. "Thanks. So when should we start?"

"How about Saturday?" Beck suggested.

"Okay, I'll tell them," she said and turned as she started to leave.

"Wait!" Andre called. "Is there anything we should know about you guys at all?" he asked.

Trina hesitated, and for the first time since she'd been there a flash of nervousness came across her face. But it was gone so quickly, Andre wondered if he had just imagined the whole thing.

"No," she told them. "Nothing important." Trina left without another word.

"Beck, what did we just get ourselves into?"

"I don't know."

**S.U.I.C.I.D.E.F.O.R.H.I.R.E**

Saturday came and most of it was gone by the time they got frustrated in waiting.

"Where are they?" Beck mumbled.

"Do you think that Trina and the others decided not to show?"

Beck sighed. "Maybe. If they're not, then we should leave now. We're already late for..."

He was interrupted by the front door to the cabin slamming open. Voices, angry, surfaced from the other side.

"Why the hell did you do that?" A high, unfamiliar voice asked.

"Cause I fucking can, Vega," an irritated voice replied. Two girls walked in, one, a Latina, with wavy brown hair and chocolate eyes, the other in all black with black hair with blue and red highlights and black makeup.

"Jade," the Latina said. "Don't you think it's rude to be busting open peoples' doors?"

"Yeah well, who the hell has a place out in the fucking woods anyway? You know I hate forests," Jade replied.

"What don't you hate?"

Trina pushed in from behind them. "Will you two shut it, already? You've done nothing but fight all the way here."

Trina glanced over to Beck and Andre, who were standing there, staring at them. "Sorry we're late. Getting everyone to the same destination is a pain in the ass." She motioned to the girls behind her. "This is Tori, my sister, and the constantly irritable one over there is Jade."

"Go to hell," Jade hissed.

Trina ignored her. "Where's Cat?" She asked her sister.

Tori looked around and then towards the door. "Hang on, I'll get her." She walked to the door opening and leaned her head out. "Cat! Get out of that bush and get in here!" She called.

A moment later, a petite redhead came skipping in. She had an apologetic grin on her face. "Sorry, Tori. My foot got caught in that mean bush."

Andre couldn't help but think she looked and acted more like an eight year old, even though she had to be at least eighteen. "So, is this all of you guys?"

"Actually no, our families and neighbors are trudging through the woods as we speak," Jade said sarcastically.

Cat skipped up to Andre and Beck. "Hi!" She greeted happily. "I'm Cat, who are you two?"

"I'm Beck, and this is Andre," he replied, motioning to his friend.

"Listen," Jade spoke up. "Please tell me we don't have to walk through the woods every day."

"Will you stop complaining," Tori scolded. "You're the one who suggested this."

"Well how else do you plan paying them off?"

"Ladies!" an annoyed Andre said, catching their attention. "As much as we want to sit here and listen to you to fight, we have a job to do tonight and we're already late."

"A job already?" Cat squealed excitedly. "Yay!"

"Cat, maybe you and the others should stay here," Beck told her. "Andre and I will go..."

"Hang on," Andre said a little quieter. "I think some of them should go to see how they do."

"Are you crazy? They seem completely unprepared. I don't think they're ready."

"Well you wanted to hire them!" Andre whispered back. "And besides, they won't get any readied than they are if we do see what they can do for ourselves."

"But..."

Andre turned toward the girls, cutting him off. "Jade, Cat, you'll go with Beck on this one," he told them.

Cat squealed excitedly while Jade just grumbled again.

"Just great! I get here and now I have to go _back_ through the woods!"

Beck sighed. "Okay, just remember, don't leave evidence behind, and listen to me. Got it?"

Cat nodded and Jade just shrugged, obviously not happy with the arrangement. He wondered if she was ever happy.

As he headed out the door following Jade and Cat, he heard Tori whisper something as he walked past her.

"Good Luck."

He was certain he would need it, too.

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><p><strong>Yeah, the others are in! I really liked this chapter, probably one of my favorites for now, but I am only on chapter three. Maybe I'll like the next chapter better. <strong>

**Anyway, want the next one? Review my friends, and we'll see what we can do :)**


	4. For the Love of a Ferret, Just Say Yes!

**Hello! I've returned with candy!**

**Well, not really, just another chapter. Maybe next time though. Anyway, I got a lot of questions from my last chapter so I thought I'd answer them in this one. It just seemed like the right thing to do. I'd hate to leave you guys all up in the air.**

**ep1998- Thank you! I'm glad you like it and thinks it's different. That's what I was aiming for in my own way. And yes, the idea came from a webcomic I read a couple of years ago, but the plot is one I made up. I got bored and I started brainstorming ideas and out of nowhere I remembered this and the story formed in my head and I just HAD to right it. I think invisible web ninjas forced it upon me during my slumber. But at least I know it came out pretty good.**

**Rosalie Carlisle Cullen- Hmm, I like your quote. And it's true, you should live every day like it's your last. I hope people get that message too. Oh, and I don't know for sure it is going to be a Bade or not, but I threw a little in for you in this chapter. Thanks for reviewing!**

**13Remus'Girl-Jaggie-Bade- Thanks for the review. And to answer your question, I really don't know if this is going to be a Bade or not. I'm sort of playing chapter after chapter. It's just one of those things where not if the author isn't sure…**

**6StrawberryAngel143- I never read that many AU stories either, but when I started this one, I wasn't even going to post it. But it got so fun I couldn't help myself. I'm glad you like it though! **

**You see, to answer the one question I'm sure most people are asking: "Why the hell am I reading this?' I don't think I can give you a solid answer. Maybe it's because it's a good story, or because it's different, or… Oh hell, let's just all agree on one, indisputable answer:**

**I'm awesome. So review. :)**

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><p><strong>~~/~**

**Chapter 4: For the Love of a Ferret, Just Say Yes**

**~/~/~**

Beck trudged out of the woods with Cat and a very pissed off Jade at his heels. She was still grumbling to herself while Cat seemed as bubbly as ever. He wondered how they could be friends when they seemed so different.

He led them both up to his blue truck parked by the side of the road.

"I call shotgun!" Cat said excitedly.

"You're getting in the backseat," Jade stated, already opening the passenger seat door. Cat nodded and got in the backseat while Beck revved up the engine.

"Remember what I said..." Beck started.

"We know." Jade rolled her eyes. "No evidence, and listen to you. Can we just go?"

Beck nodded and pulled out. Why was thus chick being so difficult? Did he have to listen to her complain all night?

Fortunately enough, Jade stopped complaining once they were on the road. Unfortunately though, Cat mouth was going a mile a minute the entire drive.

After fifteen minutes of Cat just talking about a hundred different random things, Beck seriously had to consider that this redhead might be trippin' on something way stronger than candy.

"... And that's why my brother decided to paint half his body purple! I told him he should've gone with green since it would've matched his wig better, but he said that green made him hungry even though he doesn't usually eat green foods. He loves ice cream... Oh my gosh, can we get ice cream? I love vanilla but I think I want strawberry, or chocolate. Hang on, I like cookies n' cream, wait, let's get cookies! I love cookies... And the color pink, and giraffes, and pink giraffes, and..."

Beck swallowed down a sigh of annoyance as she went on. He was surprised Cat hadn't suffocated herself with her own mindless rambling yet.

He glanced over at Jade, who was staring out the window, obviously able to drown out her friend from experience.

"Umm, Cat?" Beck said, catching the girl's attention. "Maybe you should be quiet and try to concentrate. We're almost there."

"Oh, right!" She complied, completely becoming serious and for a minute the car was completely silent.

Beck reveled in the silence for the next couple of minutes until he pulled up onto a dark gravel driveway in front of a large white mansion. The light shining through the large windows was bright and everything on the garden outside looked gorgeous.

"It's beautiful," Cat breathed while she exited the truck. Jade and Beck, locking the doors to the truck, followed.

Beck started to tell them the basics as they walked up to the large double doors. Cat seemed to be listening intently, even though Beck couldn't be sure how much was sinking in. Jade however, seemed annoyed at being told what to do.

"And most important thing, don't touch anything with your bare hands. Got everything, Jade?" He asked the goth pointedly, hoping she was actually listening.

She rolled her eyes. "Yes your highness. Would you also like your shoes shined? Or maybe you want me to draw you a bubble bath when we get back?" She asked with fake courtesy.

Beck just sighed. He'd guess he would just have to learn the hard way that arguing with Jade was a one way street.

"I wanna ring the bell!" Cat said once they were on the stone front porch. She pushed the bright doorbell and loud chimes rung through the house. A second later, the girl Beck had met with Andre earlier had swung open the door. Her curly red hair was in a ponytail, and her dark green eyes flashed with annoyance.

"You guys are late!" She said. Jade took no mind and pushed past the girl with some unnecessary force and into the house. Beck and Cat followed.

"Sorry, something came up," Beck said.

The girl shrugged and closed the door. "Living room." She showed them the way through the spacious house where a large white and tan sitting room was. Jade immediately went to the brown leather couch and plopped down, while Cat went over to a display case and started looking at the different rows of trophies and medals.

Beck cleared his throat. "So, you didn't give us much detail yesterday. Is there a certain way you want to die?"

Jade let out a loud, exasperated sigh. "Can we please hurry the hell up?"

"Jade, stop complaining."

"What's up with her?" the girl asked, crossing her arms.

Beck looked at her apologetically. "Sorry, she's new. So, did you have anything in mind?"

She was quiet for a moment, then Cat spoke up, turning from the shelf. "Do you swim?" She asked curtly.

The girl looked surprised, but nodded. "Yeah, I'm on a national swim team, but I hate it."

Cat looked confused. "Then why do you swim?"

"My dad. He was a swimming champion and that's all he wants me to be. I've come to really hate it though. I basically live in the water."

Cat seemed to think hard for a minute, then he smiled. "Well, then you can just drown!"

She blinked. "Really?"

Cat nodded. "You want to make your death special, and when they find you drowned, maybe then people will realized you weren't meant to spend your life in the water anyway, since you died in it... Or, something like that."

Beck had to force his jaw shut to keep it from dropping to the floor. That was probably the most thoughtful and insightful thin he had heard from the redhead since they had meant. And he had heard a lot in the short amount of time he had known her. What exactly went through her head?

"I like that idea," the girl said. "But our pool is being worked on so..."

"We can use a bathtub!" Cat squealed. "This house is big, so it probably has on if those big ones."

"Okay, I'll show you where it is." The girl turned on her heels and headed toward the spiral staircase. Cat followed and Jade got up from the couch. Beck couldn't help but smile at the goth.

"Looks like you'll be drawing that bubble bath now, huh?" He said with a chuckle.

"Shut up."

**S.U.I.C.I.D.E.F.O.R.H.I.R.E**

Beck and Jade finished setting up the bathroom about twenty minutes in. The bubble bath was done, and Cat had instructed some candles to be put up along with some rose petals to be thrown around the floor of the bath tub. They didn't necessarily have any rose petals on hand, so Jade decided to take some from the house plants and cut them up.

"Do you really think it was okay to cut up her mom's plants?" Beck asked as Jade started sprinkling them in the rim of the tub.

Jade shrugged. "Well, where else were we supposed to get them?"

Beck shook his head and headed out the bathroom to get Cat and the girl. He walked into the open bedroom down the hall where the girl stood in a bright teal robe, and Cat stood at the corner, snuggling a white... Weasel?

"Cat, what are you doing?"

Cat looked up. "I'm playing with her ferret. He's SO cute and small and fluffy!"

The girl nodded. "Yeah, my sister got him for me the other day cause the one I had since I was eight just died. I haven't even named him yet."

"Well, the bathroom is ready," Beck told the girl. She nodded and walked to the dresser and pulled an orange bottle out of the top drawer. She opened the bottle and took a few pills.

"I'm ready," she said.

Beck looked at Cat who was still snuggling the ferret. "Okay Cat, put the ferret back."

Cat looked sad but nodded. She set The ferret back in its cage. "Bye little guy."

Beck walked with cat and the girl back toward the bathroom. Jade was standing outside the door impatiently tapping her foot.

She glanced at them. "Are we doing this or not?"

The girl nodded drowsing and Beck guessed the pills she had taken were sleeping pills.

"So we'll just..." Beck started but Jade cut him off quick.

"You mean, Cat and I will go finish it, you wait out here."

Beck rolled his eyes. "Fine, but make it quick. We've been here way too long."

Cat grabbed onto the girls arm gently and Jade followed, closing the bathroom door behind her. He sighed and leaned his back up against the door frame, wondering about their new business recruits.

He had spent the last couple hours of his life with Jade and Cat who seemed like complete opposites, yet they didn't fight and got along great. But Jade and Tori... From his first impression, it seemed like those two did nothing but fight. Just another strange relationship that didn't make complete sense. Trina also seemed difficult in her own way. More into herself and looked really bossy, and along with Jade's attitude an constant snarky remarks, they seemed like a handful to work with. So far, the only one who seemed easy to work with was Cat. But she was just so... Strange. At first glance there seemed to be no real depth to the bubbly redhead, but it was possibly way more to it than that. Something about her just didn't seem ... Right. And that fight Jade and Tori were having earlier about needing money, what was that about?

He was still lost in thought when the bathroom door opened. Jade stepped out along with Cat. Neither of them looked worried, so he guessed they were okay with what just happened, which you can't say for everyone. But it was obvious they weren't the most normal bunch.

"So, everything go smoothly?" He asked.

Cat nodded. "Easy peezie, lemon squeezey!"

Jade rolled her eyes. "It's done. Can we go?"

"Yeah, I guess. We'll just..."

"We can't!" Cat yelled. "What about her ferret?"

"What about it?" Beck said.

"What in hell are you two talking about?" Jade asked.

"Her ferret!" Cat said. "We can't leave him. He's all alone."

Beck sighed. "Cat, we can't take the ferret."

"Why the fuck are you two talking about a rat when we could be gone by now?" Jade hissed.

Cat ignored her. "Oh, please, Beck! I don't wanna leave him. He's so cute and friendly and please, please, please!" She begged, her brown eyes wide and sad with tears at the rims and her pout eerily adorable.

He stood his ground though. "No Cat, we're not taking the rodent."

"I agree with, Beck," Jade said. "Animals are way too much to handle, especially when it comes to you. Remember Mr. Turtle?"

"But that wasn't my fault!" She insisted. "Please! I'll take care of him and everything. Oh please!" Tears were falling down her cheeks now, and Beck couldn't tell if she was really upset or they were just crocodile tears. Either way though, they absolutely were NOT taking the ferret with them.

**S.U.I.C.I.D.E.F.O.R.H.I.R.E**

Beck waited in the driver's seat out in front of his 'former' client's house for five minutes with a very steamed Jade in the passenger seat. He couldn't say he blamed her, or didn't feel a little annoyance with the whole situation either.

"You okay?" He asked.

"Don't talk to me," she replied coldly.

"Are you really that mad?"

She huffed. "No, I'm not mad, I'm pissed to fuck! Why the hell did you do that?"

He shrugged, not sure why either. "I don't know, it was just... How was I supposed to say no?" He defended, finding no other way to explain.

Just then, Cat opened the backseat and crawl into the car with the ferret in her arms. "Okay, little guy, we're going to take you to your new home!"

Jade rolled her eyes. "I hope that means we're leaving in general."

Beck looked at Cat. "You better hope people don't think the ferret was taken."

She shook her head. "Don't worry. I left his cage door open and opened the back door. Now all we have to worry about is getting him some food, and a cage and some other stuff."

He sighed. "Fine, we'll stop at the pet store."

"Fuck it. I'm walking home," Jade stated, opening the car door.

"If you leave, you don't get your share of the pay," Beck warned.

"What the hell does pet shopping have to do with my job?"

"Because remember, I'm in charge here and if you don't go, I'll say you didn't do your share of the work." He didn't want to have to threaten her with that, but Beck was determined to get through this night with them, even if it was just to keep Andre off his ass about hiring them in the first place.

Jade shut the door with wicked force making the car jerk, and shot Beck a glare that could kill. Good thing it didn't.

"Let's go," he said, putting the car in ignition and heading to the first open pet store he could find, which was twenty minutes away. During the drive, Cat had thought of countless names for the ferret, sharing every one of them. Yet she couldn't figure out which one she wanted.

By the time he pulled into the deserted parking lot, Beck noticed Jade was ready to snap and he was exhausted.

"Let's make this quick," he told Cat, interrupting her idea of naming the ferret after her favorite candy.

She nodded. "Okay!" she held the ferret close and hopped out of the car. Beck and Jade got out of the car more slowly an followed her inside. Beck looked at the time and saw it was past eleven o'clock.

Cat went straight up to the young cashier and introduced herself. "This is my new ferret, and I wanna get him some food, and a cage, and one of those little toys for him and... What else do you think he'll need?"

The clerk smiled happily. "Well, if you don't have anything for him, then you'll need to have a whole bunch of necessities for him. And, if you want, we just got a whole bunch of ferret clothing items! We can try some on him if you like."

The ferret wriggles in Cat's arms as she nodded excitedly, mouth wide in happiness. "Of course! I love clothes shopping!"

"Well come this way," the clerk said, motioning for Cat to follow.

"The others are going to be so pissed off when we get back," Jade commented, watching them disappear around the corner.

Beck sighed. "I know." But it was too late now. He sighed and looked at the large tanks with fish and The shelves by them that had all kinds of fish goods and vitamins. The other had reptiles and a birds which were making loud, obnoxious noise and the entire place like a mixture of litter and wet dog. He wondered how anyone could ever work in this place.

He saw Jade walk over to where the reptiles were and look into one of the cages. He went up to her side and noticed she was looking and large grayish coral snake.

"Do you like snakes?" He asked, hoping to have a normal conversation with the cranky goth for once.

She shrugged. "I guess." She paused for a minute, unmoving and deep in thought. "You know, we're sort of just like them."

She shifted her gaze and Beck's era followed. She was staring at the little container that was on top of the snake's cage. Inside it was a little white mouse.

"What do you mean?" He asked, gaze shifting back to the hungry looking snake, tongue sticking out as it hissed.

"They kill mice, we get rid people just like them," she said, voice quiet and calm. "Mice are so weak, useless and overpopulated. Hiding in the shadows and only coming out when it's safe. Scraping off the things people actually work for. It's sickening to think there are people just like that out there."

"But there'd be so many more if it weren't for snakes. They stalk the mice in the shadows, follow them straight into their homes, and finish them off. No one notices, no one cares. It's just how it is in nature. Life goes on without them, because they weren't really important in the first place."

Beck stared at Jade long after she had finished talking. She had a point, one he agreed with. But was there a reason she was telling him this? They hadn't had a conversation without her making some mean remark until now. She didn't seem cold or friendly now, just... thoughtful. Like she was telling this to herself as much as she was to him. Maybe things did get through to her, but just in her own way and at her own pace. Maybe things were looking up between the business partners, then he remembered where they were and knew things were not okay at the moment.

"Hello?" Jade said, snapping Beck from his thoughts, her face close to his.

He felt his cheeks growing warm. "Um, sorry. What did you say?"

"I said can I have the keys?"

He blinked. "How do I know you won't drive off?"

She shrugged. "You don't. But I'm tired and this place smells awful."

He sighed. "Fine." he handed her the keys and without another word she exited the store.

Beck leaned against the wall, waiting either to hear car tires squeal away over the noise of the pet store. But instead he was subjected to the squawking of birds and barking puppies for the next twenty minutes until Cat came around the corner with a cart overflowing with items. The ferret sitting on top and looking terrified.

"I think we got everything!" Cat said.

Beck sighed. "Alright, let's hurry and pay for it."

As the cashier started to ring up the items and talk to Cat, Beck pulled out his phone which he had put on silence earlier and saw what he expected to see. Eight calls from Andre. Just great.

He finished paying for the items and helped Cat drag them out to his truck, which thankfully, still occupied the parking where he'd left it. Beck put the larger items in the back and let Cat put in the smaller ones. He went to the driver's seat to see how Jade was, but she wasn't there and loud music was playing. He turned if off and noticed the goth had fallen asleep in the back.

"Jade?" He said, trying to get her awake.

"Don't bother," Cat said, hopping into the passenger seat. "When she falls asleep, nothing wakes her up."

He nodded and put the car in drive. Cat was happy, Jade was asleep, and now all he had to do was find a way to explain this to Andre and the others.


	5. Poor Mr Squirrel

**Lol, I'm here and ready to write! I hope you guys like this, not my best chapter though… and it would've been up sooner but I couldn't log into fanfiction… But i hope you all enjpy anyway, and a lot more to come ;)**

**Oh well, and I wanted to say something to some of my reviewers:**

**mazeygrace18: Thankx for the super long paragraph and ideas. I actually agree on some with you on their. I'd much rather not focus on romance either. But I shall see how it'll turn out.**

**StrawberryAngel143: You know, it's actually not that hard to right AU stories. I mean, it's not always changing the characters' personalities, but about applying them to a completely different situation with a plot from your head. You'd be surprised what you think of if you're creative enough**

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><p><strong>Chapter 5: Poor Mr. Squirrel<strong>

Beck pulled his truck over on the Bolio Road outside the woods. Next to him, Cat squealed giddily as the little ferret wriggled in her arms.

"Don't worry little guy," she calmly. "We're here now."

Beck sighed audibly and got out of the car. Cat followed and went straight to the back of his truck. He first thought it might be a good idea to wake Jade, then he remembered the explaining he'd have to be doing to the others and thought better of it.

Beck turned and went to the other side of the truck just as three figures came charging out. One came bounding out too fast and fell right into him.

"Ow!" Trina's voice rang out.

"Well watch where you're going!" Beck told her while she brought her hand up to rub her forehead.

"It's dark!" she shot back angrily.

"Yo man, where've you been?" Andre asked, coming into view. Tori followed and pushed her sister out of the way to see him. Beck could see the worry all over her face.

"Are Cat and Jade alright?" She asked, concerned.

"I'm right here, Tori!" Cat called her from the bed of Beck's truck, waving her hand to all of them.

"And Jade's sleeping in the truck," Beck told them. "I'm not exactly sure how to wake her up though. I tried and she won't budge."

"Don't worry, I'll get her up." Trina pushed her way through the others and up to the truck. Ignoring Cat's greeting, she threw open backseat door and, to everyone's dismay, let out a prolonged earpiercing scream.

Beck, Andre, and Tori all covered their ears and Cat clumsily fell backwards into the bed of the truck.

When Trina stopped screaming, everyone looked up and suddenly heard a very audible 'smack' sound.

"Don't you ever shut up!" Came Jade's annoyed and tired voice.

"I'm not the one sleeping on the job," Trina said, stepping back and rubbing her cheek. "And you didn't need to slap me."

Jade stepped out of the truck, looking pissed. "If I wasn't so tired it would've been twice as bad!"

Cat hopped up and out of the bed of the truck and raced over to Tori.

"Lookie at what I got!" She said adorably, sticking out her arms and showing the small white ferret to the Latina.

Tori screamed and jumped behind Andre. Andre saw it too and took a step back. "What in the world is that?"

"It's my new ferret," Cat said happily, cuddling the squirming weasel.

"Ew, Cat, put that down!" Tori screamed some more.

Cat blinked, the confusion evident in her big round eyes. "What's wrong, Tori? Are you scared of him?"

"It's a rat!"

"Why do you have it?" Andre asked calmly. "And where in the world have you three been?"

"I have him because I didn't want to leave him alone," Cat started to explain. "And I remember us being at this super big mansion house and then we went to the pet store and we stopped at the ice cream shop but they were closed so we came back here!"

Tori and Andre both stared at Cat in confusion and astonishment and Beck knew he was in for it. Trina walked up beside Cat at that second. When she saw the ferret, she shrieked.

"What the hell is that?"

Jade came up beside and smirked. "Don't you know your reflection in a mirror when you see it?" She joked.

Trina shot a glare at the goth, obviously offended by the statement. "I bet you think you're real funny, huh? Just wait 'til you're out on the street and then let's see how many nickels they'll spare you for your wonderful sense of humor."

Jade rolled her eyes but surprisingly didn't say anything else besides mutter something inaudibly under her breath.

"Beck," Andre started, moving on the conversation. "Please explain what's going on."

So he did, and told them everything that had happened while they were gone. They listened in silence until the end of the story when Beck explained Cat had pestered him into stopping for ice cream before coming back here.

Andre shook his head. "I can't believe you guys! That was not professional at all!"

"I'm sorry," Cat mumbled, sounding adorably guilty.

Tori walked around Andre to face Cat. "Cat, you can't keep the ferret."

Cat's lip stuck out in what has to be her one-hundredth pout today. "B-but why?"

"Because you can't! He's not even yours!"

"But there's no one left to take care of him!"

Tori shook her head, exasperated. "Cat, every time you get a new pet it turns into a natural disaster, mostly for us!" Tori said, motioning to Jade and her sister.

"Nuh uh!" Cat continued to protest, keeping the ferret snuggly secure in her arms.

"Yes it does," she said. "Remember Mr. Dog?"

"I didn't know he liked to eat not eatable foods," she defended.

"And Mr. Squirrel?" Tori continued.

"I thought he was a flying squirrel!" Ouch.

"And Mr. Turtle..."

"But that wasn't my fault! Trina's the one who made him run away!"

"Then there was Mr. Cat, Mr. Bird, Mr. Mouse and oh, don't. even get me started on Mr. Rabbit and Mr. Bunny," she added, visibly shivering at the memory.

"I didn't know Mr. Bunny was actually Mrs. Bunny."

"We spent a fortune on exterminating hundreds of rabbits! Even Jade's still having nightmares from that one!"

"I'm sorry," Car said, tears once again beginning to spill down her face. "But I promise if you let me keep him I'll take care of him!" she pleaded.

"Cat..."

"Please!" She continued. "Oh please, please, oh please, please, please!" Cat glanced at Andre who was watching Cat with sympathy. "Oh, Andre please tell Tori to let me keep him. Super please!"

Andre glanced at Tori, a defeated look on his face.

"Don't..." Tori warned him.

"C'mon Tor, what could it hurt?" Andre said, giving into the infinite amount of adorable waves Cat was sending his way. Beck had to admit, she was good.

"No! It's a bad idea!" Tori said, glancing back to Cat who was full in cryin now. "Cat, stop crying." It continued, getting louder. "You're acting childish." Still crying. "Cat!"

When the crying continued, it seemed like Tori's out armor seed to shatter and she sighed. "Okay, okay. You can keep it."

Immediately Cat squealed in delight, her precious mood seeming to vanish in thin air.

"Yay!" She looked down at the white ferret in her arms. "Let's go home now."

"Finally!" Jade said loudly, turning toward their car with Cat behind her.

"Hold up a second!" Trina said, stopping both of them. "We are not going home now."

"Ugh, fuck!" Jade yelled. "Just why the hell not?"

"We're not going anywhere near my house with that," she pointed a finger at the small poofy ferret in Cat's arms.

"How come?" Cat asked.

"I don't want that rat in my house!"

"Trina..." Tori warned calmly.

"No, Tori," she said, shaking her head. "I don't care if she keeps it but not with us. Every time she has a pet something gets ruined and it's usually my stuff!"

"Then where's he going to stay?" Cat asked.

"That's not my problem," she replied, crossing her arms. "Hell, check him into a motel for all I care."

Cat looked down at the ferret sadly, knowing Trina wasn't going to change her mind. Suddenly, she glanced up at the guys, a wide grin on her face.

"Can I keep him at the cabin?" She asked them.

Beck and Andre looked at each other, surprised and uncertain of the request.

"I don't think so, Cat," Beck told her, shaking his head.

"But why not?" She asked. "We can put all his stuff here and I can come and take care of him in the day while we're here and the only time he'll be alone is at night when he's sleep."

Once again, Beck saw the pout in her face and almost caved in immediately. But this tome he decided to put his foot down about the matter. Thy didn't need to give Cat any ideas about rooming animals in their work place.

"Sorry, Cat. I just don't think it's a good idea." Beck looked at Andre for confirmation. "We're a business, not an SPCA."

Andre nodded. "I think Beck's right..."

Andre stopped asTori put her hand on his arm. Beck noticed that she was giving him a strange, big eyed look while motioning to Cat and the ferret.

"Just let her keep it at the cabin for now," Tori told him.

Beck was shocked to the bone at what came put of his best friend's mouth next next. "Okay, fine." What the hell? "Let's get the stuff out of the truck."

Beck watched as Andre walked past him with the girls at his heels, specifically avoiding Beck's gaze. What just happened? Beck thought. Did Andre just totally ignore shut out his decision to listen to... Tori? No, that didn't make sense. They were supposed to be running things, not the other way around. But still...

No, maybe he was just imagining it. Andre's probably tired just like the rest of them and decided not to argue about it anymore. Tomorrow, things should be back in order and they would lay out the rules for the girls and show them that this was their business and they were in charge.

But something in the back of Beck's mind told him that wasn't completely true anymore.

**S.U.I.C.I.D.E.F.O.R.H.I.R.E**

The next day Andre and Beck trudged through the forest towards the cabin, trying to avoid the large puddles of mud die to the heavy rain a few hours earlier. Beck stared at Andre who had been silent the whole way from their apartment. Not that he minded the silence much, especially after last night with the girls, but he had sort of been expecting some talk from Andre about the current situation they were in and about last night. But so far, nothing. It's as if nothing changed, but something definitely had.

"So," Beck started, breaking the silence. "Do you think this is going to work out?"

Andre shrugged. "I guess so."

"I don't know anymore," Beck told him. "I mean, last night was a lot. Maybe we should reconsider their partnership in the business."

Andre stopped and cut his eyes toward Beck. "Well you wanted to hire them."

Beck blinked, a little surprised at Andre's harsh tone. "I know, man. It's just, well after last night... I just don't think things are going to work out in our favor."

Andre huffed. "Well, it was their first night, give them some time."

Beck stared at Andre in shock. Was this really his friend from so many years ago/ What the hell was he saying? _He_ was always the one worried about perfection and skill. Focusing on not getting caught was always Andre's thing. Being the keenest for details that could lead to them whatsoever. Always.

But now… When the biggest liability showed its face, Andre didn't want to get rid of it? What the hell!

"Dude, if they're going to risk our freedom then-"

Andre cut him off. "We won't get caught! You're worrying to much."

Wow, when did we switch rolls? Beck thought. Then something occurred to him…

"This is about, Tori, isn't it?" He accused suddenly.

Andre blinked. "Tori…? No, why would you say that?"

"Because it is, isn't it," Beck went on. "You like her!"

"No I don't!"

"She might be cute, dude, but she's not worth going to jail for," Beck said. This wasn't supposed to be this difficult.

"For the last time, Beck, this is _not_ about Tori," Andre persisted. "Things will be fine. Just give it time."

"Time out here, or time behind bars?" Beck asked, annoyed, irritated and angered.

Andre just rolled his eyes and turned his back toward Beck. "I'm done with this conversation." Andre left, trudging down their usual small trail that headed toward the cabin.

Beck sighed. Just great, he thought. What could possibly go wrong next?


End file.
